Memos – Electric Vehicles and Plants Rights

Subject: Equal rights for plants

Disclaimer

This is purely a work of fiction and has no basis in reality as experts funded by people with lots of money and long term agendas is clearly just a conspiracy theory. We all know that we can trust the experts, and must ignore any experts who contradict the consensus. The New Physics says horizontal steel stays solid and vertical steel disintegrates into dust when heated. The New Biology says all illness is due to deficiency in artificial pharmaceuticals.

Introduction

This is the result of a fact finding mission from the Plants Rights (PR) grass roots organisation. Plants Rights advocates for more carbon for plants, they oppose reducing atmospheric carbon dioxide because this will destroy plant life. Plants also just happens to absorb solar energy thus reducing global warming.  

Reasons to oppose electric vehicles

With the closure of many petrol stations this will put many gentlemen in jeopardy. Cutting down on their ability to get last minute chocolates and flowers for anniversaries and birthdays. This may result in a greater burden on the NHS as more men suffer rib injuries. Allegedly ladies elbows can be very sharp in aggravated situations.

The NHS may be overloaded as hernias rise due to the battery equivalent of a spare fuel can.

A surge in trip hazard injuries, as people struggle with charging leads, may lead to NHS casualty departments being overloaded.

During storm damage, or failure of green energy supply outputs leading to grid shutdowns will have an adverse affect on charging vehicles which may have adverse economic consequences. (Carbon fuel vehicles have greater range per fuel load and in winter EV battery capacity is reduced as energy from the battery has to be used to warm the battery)

Damage to the environment from mining operations to extract resources for electrical components.

Creation of even more electro-smog, as the magnetic induction in the environment increases.

Increase in toxic waste from the electronics industry.

Lack of joy from kangaroo petrol.

Long queues as people wait for parking places with chargers.

Holidays become journeys from hell as frequent recharges to go long distances which goes from hours to days. Leading to “Are we there yet?” fatigue.

Side winds become problematic as light weight caravans blow away in a light breeze.

Increased noise problems as desperate vehicle owners resort to using petrol generators to recharge their vehicles. This may overload the NHS with patients suffering from VCSD (Vehicle Charging Stress Disorder).

Increased street violence from lamp post rage, as people fight over charging points.

Overwhelmed police, as thefts of cables increases due to the high price of copper caused by the shortages caused by demand for use in electric vehicle motors and cabling.

Disasters because people and wildlife don’t hear the vehicles coming.

Discrimination as cost prices many poor people out of the vehicle market causing massive transport inequality.

Software bugs that turn driving into Russian roulette.

Lost work hours as businesses struggle with employees being late for work due to charging times.  

Grid collapses due to overloaded infrastructure, leading to an increase in carbon emissions from backup generators.

Putting all your power eggs into one electrical energy basket may not be the smartest idea?

The command economy that says you will only be able to buy electric cars has its roots in those wonderful soviet command economies, where people would wait for decades to get a car. Like the glorious triumph of communist planning, the Trabant.

Praise the dear leader.