The C Diet

Disclaimer

This entire work is completely fiction and has no basis in reality. It should not be considered by the reader as anything other than indigestible conjecture, a bit like a political manifesto really? Well maybe not quite that detached from reality!

Introduction

This is a work of vast hours of research where no expense has been spared. A devoted team of top scientists have been hard at work. With the rise of C, for Crisis, rather like buses they seem to come together. We have had the Climate Crisis (CC) and the Corona Covid Crisis (CCC) ,allegedly it may have some origins in Communist China (CC) . With reference to many learned sages, we find the notion of fighting fire with fire. So our learned colleagues when faced with C decided to solve it with the C diet. The advisory group that government did not appoint to assist with the Current Crisis  (CC) found that C = 3  in the alphabet. With this ground breaking analysis, they found the mathematical key to decipher the Crisis Code (CC) and were able to continue. The first major obstacle was to find a suitable acronym for the illustrious team. CABBAGE or Crisis Advisory Board Bringing All Good Eating.

Don’t worry about variety, with a little research you can add many items all beginning with C in other languages. Learning Latin(LL) may improve your diet. This last suggestion was received from the Emperors special advisory committee, which in Britannia is known as CASE. You often hear people saying they are on the CASE so we believe it to be a large and popular organisation.

A message from CABBAGE

Of course we realised that Cold is a major factor in the Crisis, and when it is Cold people don’t eat as much food high in Vitamin C a major factor in reducing Cold and Flu issues. C is a Critical Component (CC) so we looked at sources and found many began with the letter C.

While we recognise that other scientific teams must be right, and that in the real world after millions of years of hominid evolution, the only true explanation is that we are all seasonally deficient in artificial chemicals and lab created genetics. It clearly should be plain to all that with nothing to gain the pharmaceutical giants and governments around the world there is only one solution to the evolutionary deficiency. Humans will obviously perish without the help from factories to save us!

The CABBAGE Code (CC)

When you are shopping for groceries look for all those that being with C, obviously remember to buy some Cabbage, which you can cook or eat raw, and if you use some ϹоЉ (Russian for Salt pronounced Sol) you can make your own Choucroute (French for Sauerkraut). When selecting foods please be aware ALLERGY ALERT (AA)

Vegetables

Cabbage, Cucumber, Courgettes,  Cesnek (Czech for Garlic), Cibule (Czech for Onion),  Carrots, Cauliflower, Calibresse (Technical Latin for Broccoli) , Chestnut Mushrooms, Closed Cup Mushrooms,  Chia, Celery, Celeriac,  Champignon (French for mushroom), Chicory, Cress

Herbs and Spices

Curry, Chilli, Cumin, Coriander, Cinnamon, Cloves,  Chives, Chervil, Cardamon, Cider Vinegar

Fruits

Clementines, Cherries, Cranberries, Cantaloupe, Citron (French for Lemon), Currents

Protein – in this category take great care ALLERGY ALERT

Cashews, Chestnuts, Cheese, Carp, Canard (French for duck), Caille (French for Quail), Cod, Chevreuil (French for Venison), Crevettes (French for Prawn), Crab, Calamares (German for Squid)

Treats

Yes this is important for your cheerful character (CC)

So top of the list in this Category:

Chocolate

Crisps

Praise the dear leader.